Many of you know my parents. They are truly an inspiration and example to us… they have been foster parents for almost my whole life. They adopted my brother Terry when he was 3. This past weekend, Terry, was the Best Man in our other brother Ryan’s wedding. That doesn’t sound that unusual, unless you know Terry’s history.
You see, Terry’s birth mom used all kinds of drugs, and Terry was born with numerous mental and physical disabilities, including a two-chambered heart, organs flipped, and missing parts of his brain. The doctors did not think he would live past his first year. My parents had already taken in other “crack babies”, and Terry was initially a foster placement. After he made it to age 1, no one thought he would make it to age 3… again, he surprised the doctors. At this point, he was up for adoption, and as he had never lived with anyone but us, my parents adopted him so that he could live his short life as an official member of the family. Obviously, the prayers of my parents and so many others have been answered, as Terry is now almost 25 years old. His medical file is incredibly long… and if you read it, you would think at least he should be confined to a bed and unable to walk or talk. But when does God let limitations of this world hold Him back?
Some of you know Terry. He has a lot of mental and physical challenges and can be difficult. In many ways, he has the mind of a child in an adult body. But he has the biggest heart you have ever seen! When you go anywhere with Terry, expect him to see people he knows, and greet them with a huge “HI STEVE!” If Terry met you once ten years ago, he will probably remember your name and greet you like his long lost best friend!
Back to the wedding. We were not sure how he would do as part of the ceremony, but he did great! (Good thing Liam was the ring bearer, so he helped keep Terry quiet with some nods and hugs as Terry pointed out the airplane flying overhead.) My brothers: Ryan (groom) and Terry (Best Man).
But the best part came at the reception. Terry had been coached to say a line from the movie “Shrek” for his Best Man Toast: “and they lived happily ever after.” At least half of the practice sessions ended with Terry saying, “I am not going to say it!” So no one was counting on him to do the toast. He can be a little contrary when you ask him to do something.
But when the moment came… he had the microphone and the attention of the entire crowd. He did NOT say that line. Instead he gave a much longer toast from his heart that had me in tears. He said something like this:
“Ryan is my best friend even though sometimes he roots for Michigan.” (Here Ryan denied that! Ohio State all the way!) Then Terry continued with, “And I know that today, now, Kira is married to Ryan, and I am glad, because Ryan is a special guy.”
As the other groomsmen took over the toasting, it just hit me that Terry wasn’t supposed to be alive or able to give a great toast, according the the medical experts. Yet, here he was, sharing his sincere love for his brother in front of a crowd! What a blessing!
The entire wedding was beautiful and I am so happy for Ryan and Kira. But one of the highlights in my memories will always be Terry’s toast. A example of God’s faithfulness, of bringing good out of bad, creating life and love even in hard circumstances. Terry’s life is a living example of how things are so upside down in God’s Kingdom. The last shall be first, a child shall lead, blessed are the meek… all of those apply to Terry. I don’t know how many years he has left (the doctors quit making predictions a long time ago), but I do know that whenever he gets to Heaven, he will be absolutely enthusiastic as he yells, “Hi JESUS!” with a smile and a huge hug. Until then, he will keep bringing joy to those of us who know him here on earth! It truly was the best “best man toast”!
